Life’s Timeline

I thought that 25 was going to be an age where I had my shit together and I was then going to head into the summer of my life with a solid foundation below my feet. They made us create these lists in 10^th grade that were for 10 years down the road, and imagined that that foundation was meant to be something like this

-Be a college graduate with a super fancy degree

-Have a job that utilizes that fancy degree

-Either be married or on the verge of marriage

-Have my own place with my husband/almost fiancé and a dog (duh)

-Be a world traveler

-Be stable, secure, and happy

Well hot damn. As far as that list goes,

Black – White – Grey

There’s a lot that I don’t know. At times that scares me. It gets so overwhelming that it makes me feel like I’m sinking. It gets hard to breathe and everything just feels black and bleak.

Other times it’s freeing. Not knowing lends so much opportunity for

Resolutions for the New Year

It’s almost a new year. (Hellooooo 2016!) That means it’s time to make some resolutions. AKA the life changes we fully intend to make at the start of the year and then don’t think about again until December and the think “oops”. I didn’t make any last year because what I described is exactly what I tend to do.

One cool thing though, is that I finally followed through with a resolution

The In-between

Life is lived in the in-between
In-between the homes we live in
the seasons
Drought and rainfall
Nights in and last calls
In-between brown hair turning grey
Night becoming day

For Mom

My mom is one of those people
That holds me together
She makes me feel certain
That I can make it through any weather

She lifts me up
When I’ve fallen down
Even when I think I don’t want her
She still comes around

She picks on me
Out of love
She teaches me things
Like “Rise Above“

To be independent
To treat others with kindness
And to remember to look for light
In those times of darkness

The Dream

I will seek you
Where wonder speaks.
In our dreams
When we are fast asleep,
For only there
Are we free to be,
To escape the restraints
Set for you and me.
So look for me
Where stars collide,

Sea of Normality

The monsters that dwell
And thrive under my bed
Have now relocated to
Property inside my head.
They tell me things
That I want to hear.
They tell me the blade

Better Than This

 

Of all the demons in this world
the strongest ones I know
live within each one of us
and refuse to let us grow.

The Apple

 

The apple grows ripe from the tree
to the eye it’s pleasing to see.
It’s red, it’s perfect,
and oh so worth it.

Dance of the Demons

During the night my demons are awake, but the world is too quiet to try and escape.

So I let them dance around my bed. Then they get brave and go for my head.

They want to live inside my brain. To pick it apart and drive me insane.

They want to drain my world of light. Fill it with grey, heartbreak, and fright.

Just when I’m ready to let them win, daybreak comes and saves me again.

-Courtney